Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
