she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
