U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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