Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
birth control should be required to get into college
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
