just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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