If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
