i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
