ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
