i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
