I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize