And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
