Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
