Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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