A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
