Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
