Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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