therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
