i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
