Define "chronic" masturbator.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
