there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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