All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
