I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
