I want to walk on stilts...naked
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
