I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize