he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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