C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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