Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
