I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
