That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
