Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
