May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
