It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
