i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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