Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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