I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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