she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
