just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
