Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
