i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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