my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
