In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
