We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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