It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
