There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
