I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
