glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
