why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
