I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do vagina's smell?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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