The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
