i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
