She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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