I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
