Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
