so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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