He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
