I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I need moral support for this bender
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
