You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
