Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
