either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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